Monday, January 28, 2013

Fear of Losing Someone You Love

LIFE… Sometimes it’s hard to understand WHY some things happen. We all know that we can’t have the good without the bad, but why does it seem sometimes the bad is much too much to bare. Recently we were given some pretty heart wrenching news. Our dear friend Garrett Slack passed away from complications of Pneumonia. He was Sean’s very best friend since the 4th grade. He was much too young to go. Happily married with 3 small children and one on the way. Just can’t seem to wrap my head around this. Last night I was reading through the last text messages Sean received from Garrett. They were planning to go to lunch this week. I laughed with tears in my eyes as I read their humorous communication. They had so much fun together. Death has never really seemed REAL until now. I’ve never lost anyone that close to me before and although he was Sean’s best friend, I still miss him FOR Sean. Crazy how that happens in a marriage. You really do become ONE. When Sean’s hurting, I’m hurting. I can’t stand the thought of him being without this guy. I knew how great of friends they were, heard all their childhood stories and inside jokes. A friendship like that just cannot be replaced. He was even there the day Sean and I met and Sean’s best man at our wedding. My heart aches for his wife and kids. My heart aches for Sean, not getting to enjoy more time with his best friend here on this earth. I’m so deeply saddened and even fear stricken. I think as we get older and begin our families, our fear increases. Probably for the simple fact that we now have more to lose. The more children I have the more my fears grow. I developed a fear of flying, of fear of motorcycles, fear of heights, fear of germs, fear of ghosts, fear of the dark, and most of all fear of losing a loved one. We can't always control what will happen in our lives and we pray to God that nothing bad will happen. Thats where faith comes in. Something I've been struggling with lately. Not faith that he exists, but faith that he has a plan for me and no matter what the plan is, it will never be more than I can handle. That's a promise he's made to us, but I have a hard time believing it. We all know that our lives here on earth is a time to test our faith. Every time things in life seem to be calm and going well, something always happens. Something that brings about stress. And we hate it don't we? Change for the most part is not fun. We'd like for things to stay the same and just be perfect all the time. There is a season and a reason for everything in life. I'm reading this book called Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado. He mentions the summary of Solomon (Ecc. 3:1-8) For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. Now it's up to us to understand God's plan for us. Trust in it. We can't have the good without the bad.

I found this picture posted on Garrett's facebook wall just a few weeks ago with his comment below.

"So grateful for my amazing family...and our little boy on the way :)"

-Garrett Slack

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